The British Military Open Encyclopedia - ARRSE-Pedia. Back to British Army Rumour Service Home

Difference between revisions of "Dictionary"

From ARRSEpedia
Jump to: navigation, search
(added link)
(Added Padre)
Line 216: Line 216:
  
 
; Pad : Married Soldier
 
; Pad : Married Soldier
 +
; Padre : Chaplain, as in "member of the Church Militant". Normally good blokes, and apparently they've now recruited a female Padre. Madre, anyone?
 
; Parrots and Monkeys. : Your kit, as in "Grab your [[parrots and monkeys]]"
 
; Parrots and Monkeys. : Your kit, as in "Grab your [[parrots and monkeys]]"
 
; Pear Shaped. : Meaning its all gone wrong. See Cake and Arse Party.
 
; Pear Shaped. : Meaning its all gone wrong. See Cake and Arse Party.

Revision as of 18:05, 1 June 2005

The Dictionary - A one stop shop for Soldier speak

Note: Link entries to wiki page if one exists.


Copying From Viz's 'Roger's Profanisaurus' isn't big, clever or funny; either be original or stay in your box

A

AD 
Accidental Discharge (of a firearm)in reality nearly all AD's are ND's.
Aeroplane Blonde 
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
Air Biscuit. 
A quiet, yet horribly smelly fart.
Air Buffet. 
Similar to an air biscuit, but more substantial so that it may be returned to.
Ape 
As in "To go ape or apeshit", Throw a wobbler.
APWT 
Annual Personal Weapons Test
ARAB 
Regular Army - see STAB
Arse. 
Something rubbish or pointless. See Bone.
Arse Bandit. 
A homosexual - See uphill gardener.
Aussie Kiss. 
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
A.W.O.L. 
Absent Without Official Leave (not to be confused with Awol)

B

Babies Heads 
Compo Steak & Kidney pudding.
Badge. 
The Regimental Sergeant Major.
Badly Packed Kebab. 
A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia. See kebab, badly stuffed.
Bag of Bollocks.  
When something is unsatisfactory. Bag of Shit is another variant on the same theme.
Bang-Fuck. 
An ND, because when it goes BANG, you say FUCK!
Bang-Stick 
Rifle
Banjo 
To Kill.
Banjo String. 
The little piece of skin that joins the head of the penis to the shaft. Particularly painful and bloody if you break it on a "Gomper".
Bar 
n. Place where one can find atmosphere, alcohol and various other things to waste money on.
n. Metal pole set horizontally for people in poor jokes to walk into.
Basher. 
Temporary shelter, can be used to describe your bedroom.
Battle Bowler. 
The issue combat helmet.
Beer Coat.  
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a drinks in the Mess at 3 in the morning.
Bezzer.  
Best mate.
BFT 
Basic Fitness Test.
Bin Lid 
Kid.
Blanket Stacker
A storeman, this is how they prefer to be described.
Blind lesbian in a fish factory 
to sweat like a. To perspire freely.
Blobby Knob 
A dose of the clap.
Blood feud.  
Vendetta between site users.
Bog wog. 
A person originating in the Emerald Toilet.
Bombay roll. 
Tit wank
Bomb Doctor 
An Ammunition Technichian
Bomb Up. 
To load a rifle magazine.
Bone 
Something rubbish or pointless.
Boss 
n. Term used by The Blokes to describe their Pl or Trp Commander
e.g. "I don't know where the feck / what the key setting is / which way's up / why we are here - ask the Boss"
Box of Frogs. 
a. A fuck up. Alt expression, Mad as a box of frogs!
Break the seal. 
First p1ss of the evening, usually take three or four pints of wifebeater, seal breaks and you're on the lavatory every five minutes.
Breathing through your arse. 
Physically exhausted. Occurs to Infantrymen after several days of continous running with 80lb of kit, and other people after the warm up lap of the BFT.
Brown Wings. 
Earned once an individual has indulged in botty sex.
Buckshee
Meaning free, gratis, no cost. Allegedly Arabic in origin. Generally evolving out of the misfortune of another's Diffy.
BUFF 
Big Useless Fat F*cker
Bug Out
Used when exiting while under enemy fire. Used within barracks on sight of the Badge.
Bum disease. 
The result of too much uphill gardening or time in the Royal Navy.
Bunduk. 
The rifle.
Butt Musk. 
The scent encountered when parting the cheeks of a Gomper during a reverse angle of attack.

C

Cake and Arse Party. 
Used to describe a job/mission that no longer resembles normality i.e its gone pear shaped. Young officers tend to give out open invites to such functions.
Camel`s Toe. 
The visual effect of over tight panties/trousers on the female groin area. Can be both pleasing and offensive to the eye. Also known as Mumble Pants because you can read the lips but not hear the words.
Camp Bike. 
A lady who has been ridden by most of the camp.
CEASE FIRING 
( A term used when you have done the buisness and need to get the FCUK out of there fast)
Char Wallahs 
Usually Asians who sold anything and everything from a small hut somewhere on camp.
Chinese Cluster Fuck 
Large group of Officers in discussion.
Chocolate Starfish 
The nicest possible term for your bum hole.
Choggie Shop 
Another name for the Char Wallahs
Clamjouster
Dan grade exponent of clam-to-clam combat.
Clowns Pocket. 
A way to describe a womans privates i.e. "I tell you mate, I got lost down there. She had a fanny like a clowns pocket".
Cluster Fuck 
Small group of Officers in discussion.
CO. 
Commanding Officer.
Colchester Condom 
see also "Back Doors" or "Chocolate Starfish" Use of which provides a ready-means of sexual intercourse for squaddies, without the attendant risk of resulting fatherhood.
Colonel. 
As in "you going down the Colonel Gadaffi?" (Naafi)
Compo 
See also Rat Pack
Crab Air. 
The Royal Air Force.
Crabs. 
Members of the Royal Air Force.
CROW 
An affectionate term for the newer members of the Armed forces. Meaning Combat Recruit Of War, apparently!
CSE Show. 
60 minutes of 40 year old erotic dancers backed by a 70`s Rock and roll band. Usually no music is heard due to 2000 Squaddies shouting "get yer tits oot"
Cunnilingus
Eating sushi off the barber shop floor.
CUNT 
Computer User Not Trained
Custard Howitzer, test firing the 
Easing oneself off

D

Diffy. 
Deficient, attributable to someone else's Buckshee.
Donkey Walloper. 
A member of the Cav.
Donk Gun 
Slang for the FRG and L48 riot guns used to fire rubber/plastic rds.
Double Bass. 
A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.
Drop Shorts. 
The Royal Artillery. You can't miss them, they're all deaf. pardon?
Dump Fuel. 
To go for a piss.
Duracell 
A Ginger (named after the issue AA batteries).
Duty of Care 
Fluffy slipper thinking towards robust Military life.
Duty Driver 
Driver of camp Taxi service .

E

Egg Banjo 
Fried Egg sarni usually served with a big greasy thumb print in the middle. Takes name from the up-and-down open fingered hand action used when the yolk is too runny, and spurts out onto the chest rank slide.
Egyptian PT 
To sleep
Etch-A-Sketch. 
Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.

F

Fez. 
Someone who doesnt wash, a fezzing fucker.
Field, in the. 
To be on exercise.
Fish and Chips. 
Fighting In Someone's House, and Causing Havoc In People's Streets.
FIWAF. 
Fighting in Woods and Forests / Fighting Indians with a Fish.
Fizog 
(The Head) From Physiognomy.
Flogging On. 
Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.
Floppy. 
Opinions differ, but most likely originating from "Fucking Lazy Overseas Person Past Youthfullness". Less than effective military machine normally of Caribbean or Arabic descent. AKA non-swimmer.
FOFAD 
A QM's dream, due to a large fire at the stores Depot at Donnington almost all spares requisitions came back from the QM with FOFAD scrawled over them, F*ck Off Fire At Donnington
FOGB  
Quite large
Four Tonner. 
Army truck.
Frag 
i.e "lets frag his ass" common term for fragmenttation. A type of exploding weapon (grenade, mortar)
FRG 
Fedral Riot Gun an American riot gun used in NI to fire Rubber Bullets, a stopgap weapon in use until the L48 was issued. If dropped the FRG would fire which was a bit off putting if you were sitting in the back of a PIG at the time.
FUBAR 
Fcuked up beyond all recognition. see Box of frogs
FuckShitFuckShitFuckShit. 
The sound made when driving armour through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.
Fuckwit.  
Self explanatory, see def. for description. Often used as accompanyment by a yummy.
Full Screw. 
A Corporal.

G

Giz-it. 
on the scrounge from the G1098 if you're diffy
Gat. 
Rifle.
Gobblin Rods
Knife,Fork,Spoon
Gomper. 
Ugly woman, usually found on the arm of a drunken squaddie.
Gonk 
To sleep.
Green Slime. 
The Intelligence Corps. A contradiction in terms.
Gronk 
See Gomper
Gronks Ball 
Were you will find a variety of Gronks who wish to dance, usually held on camp.
Grunt 
Infantryman
Grunt Cruncher 
Tank
GS Blankets
Like sleeping in an emery cloth wrap.
GTF. 
Get To Fuck. "Go away" or "I don't believe a word you've just said".
Gurkha's Foreskin. 
Used as an insult for anyone who is thick i.e. Your as thick as a Gurkhas Foreskin.
Gwa. 
An unfortunate inflicted with red hair, to be avoided, or retrospectively aborted. (allegedly stands for Ginger With Attitude).

H

Hand to Gland Combat
A vigorous masturbation session.
Head Shed 
The Boss.
Horizontal Time Accelerator. 
Another method of describing the Sleeping Bag.
Hospital Corners
A perfect flange. The opposite of Liver & Bacon or a Badly Stuffed Kebab. (qv)

I

IED 
Improvised Explosive Device. A home-made bomb.
ITC 
Infantry Training Centre.

J

Jack. 
To be selfish or unfair to your mates.
Jazz Rag. 
Tactical Aide Memoire used in the recognition of the female form.
Jobbed, to get 
To get killed (by enemy action).

K

Kebab, Badly Packed. 
Term to describe the look of a womans private parts.
Kit-Kat Arse
The effect of sitting for hours on the benches in the back of a Bedford.

L

Lance Jack. 
Lance Corporal.
Lanny. 
Landrover.
LE
Late Entry Officer.
Lid.  
Issue helmet. See Battle Bowler.
Line Book 
See Quality Phrases
Lizard. 
Sleeping Bag / Lazy person. Can also refer to a female of questionable morals.
Low Interest Entanglement (caught in). 
In a state of disinterest. Play on Low Wire Entaglement.
Low Wire Entanglement. 
An entanglement of barbed wire that's.. yes.. LOW. Defensive obstacle.
Luke
Southern African slang for terrorist. Luke the Gook

M

Maggot. 
A Sleeping Bag.
Mag to Grid. 
Meaning get rid, to throw away.
Mark F. 
Way to describe a fat womans dress i.e "Look at the size of her, her dress is a mark F" (One up from a marquee).
Milk Shake 
As in Big Boys, Mixture of Rum, Milk Powder, Sugar and melted Boiled Sweets, can be drunk hot or cold. 1 pint of Rum, 2 sachets of Milk Powder, Sugar to taste and about half pint of melted Boiled Sweets/Water mix.
Millennium Domes. 
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually fcuk-all in there worth seeing.
Mlaaaaaaaaaaar 
noise uttered by the lickers of windows.
Mong. 
Someone who fails to perform.
Window licker.
Monkey. 
The Royal Military Police.
Monkey Bath. 
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa! Aa!".
Morning Glory. 
Wakening with a semi on playing tents with your horizontal time accelerator
Mouse's Ear
A nice, tight flange.
Munter. 
Ugly Woman. See Gomper.
Murder Ball 
A character building game.

N

Nappa
Head.
NATO Standard 
How you got your tea/coffee; Milk & 2 sugars.
NCO 
Non Commissioned Officer.
ND 
Negligent Discharge (of a firearm). To fire your weapon unintentionally. See AD
NIG. 
Term for someone new. Originally thought to come from the term "New In Germany".
Nose Bag
Food,scoff,trough

O

OBUA. 
Operations in Built up Areas. (Formerly FIBUA).
OMO. 
Brand of washing powder. Box placed in the window of the married quarter to indicate that the husband is
away i.e OMO - "Old Man Out/Overseas" or "On My Own"
Ops Offr. 
Operations Officer.
OR 
Other Rank, not a Rupert.
Otters Pocket. 
The oposite of Clowns Pocket.
Oxygen Thief. 
Someone who doesn't deserve the air that they breath. An incompetent. Usually overweight or useless.

P

Pad 
Married Soldier
Padre 
Chaplain, as in "member of the Church Militant". Normally good blokes, and apparently they've now recruited a female Padre. Madre, anyone?
Parrots and Monkeys. 
Your kit, as in "Grab your parrots and monkeys"
Pear Shaped. 
Meaning its all gone wrong. See Cake and Arse Party.
Picasso Arse. 
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks. Found behind the counter of most Naafi`s.
Pig 
4 Wheeled Armoured Personnel Carrier
Pig in Knickers 
see also ARRSE-Maidens or Hippocrocagrillapigs
Pork Sword 
see Porridge Cannon
Porridge Cannon. 
Penis.
Porridge Wog. 
A Scotsman
Pointyhead 
A locally born person/NED from Hereford.

Q

QA 
Queen Alexandras Royal Army Nursing Corps or Quick And Ready And Never Caught.
QM 
Quarter Master usually a Major, Head Honcho of the Stores etc a man well worth sucking up to or having a bit of Black on.

R

Ration assassin. 
Uncomplimentary but highly accurate description for an army chef.
Rat Pack 
Field Rations aka Compo food for destroying your gut in the field.
Red Wings. 
Awarded after chowing down on a young lady who Has the Painters In
REMF 
Rear Echelon Mother Fcuker (always found stuck in the rear with the gear)
REM's 
As in, pushing out the REM's - To sleep.(Rapid Eye Movement)
Rockapes 
RAF Regiment
Rodney. 
Officer.
Ron Hills. 
Ridiculous running trousers that make anyone's arse look fat. Usually worn by army wives along with white stilettoes and a Berghaus fleece. Lovely. (Also worn by old school, old sweat SNCO's, usually accompanied by a green norgie top )
ROP's 
Pronounced "ropes" Restriction Of Privileges. Usually given out in multiples of 7 days.
RP 
Regimental Police
Rubber Gun chit. 
Issued to potential maniacs to prevent potential bloodshed.
Rug Muncher. 
Lesbian girly.
Rug Rat 
Pad's Brat
Rupert. 
Officer.

S

Sangar 
A Guard post (in NI) made by the RE's out of Breeze Blocks which they tell you are bullet proof, days earlier on a firepower demo you had witnessed these same Breeze Blocks letting in everything fired at them bar an airgun pellet, Damn good for the OR's moral.
Scaley Backs
Nick Name for members of the The Royal Signals.
Scoff 
(noun) Food.
(verb) To eat.
Scran 
Food.
Scratcher. 
See Sleeping bag
Semen Demon. 
See Starfish Trooper
Shiny Arse. 
A Clerk. The arse of their trousers are made shiney by spending their life sitting behind a desk.
Shooting Iron. 
See Rifle
Shreddies 
Draws, Cellular, Mens.
Slop Jocky. 
Unaffectionate term for an Army Chef.
Slot 
To Kill
SNCO 
Senior Non Commissioned Officer.
Soggy Biscuit. 
Vile and unhygienic sport practised by members of the Royal Marines. Involves contestants forming a circle practising Hand to Gland Combat over a digestive biscuit. Last one to spuff eats the biscuit.
Speckles. 
Vile and unhygienic sport practised by Royal Marines. Involves one contestant laying a huge, sloppy, Eartha Kitt on a coffee table and all other contestants squatting down with their noses at table level. A pint pot is then smashed down on the Eartha, and the one with the least sh*t on his Fizog wins. Or was it the other way round? I don't know, and I don't want to know. Also see Soggy Biscuit.
Sprog. 
Child or someone who hasnt been in the army that long.
Spuds. 
Testicles.
Squaddie. 
Affectionate term for the British Soldier.
STAB 
Territorial Army.
Stag On 
Guard Duty
Starfish Trooper. 
A homosexual - See uphill gardener
Stims/Stimms 
Soft Drink.
Stripy Suntan. 
You get one of these when you're sent to jail.
Suicide Watch. 
See CSE Show.

T

Tab. 
Forced march, usually carrying a great deal of equipment on your back.
Tabloid. 
Noun: (tab'loid) A newspaper of small format giving the news in condensed form, usually with illustrated, sensational material.
Adjective: Also a paper containing no news, pictures of naked birds with their mammary glands exposed, generally abusive to hard working squaddies (See The Sun)
Tabs. 
Cigarettes.
Tara, The. 
Regimental Sergeant Major (RSM), used mainly within Scottish Regiments. Origin unknown.
Tart Fuel. 
Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch/WKD, regularly consumed by young women. (see also Bitch Piss)
Thin Out. 
Organised extraction of a unit from a defensive position. More normally used as slang for "leave" or "get rid off" eg. I thinned that bird out and now I think I'll thin out.
Throw Smoke. 
Used to cover your extraction from the workplace, OC or the wife.
Titanic. 
A lady who goes down first time out.
Twisties. 
Elasticated ties used to fold up and secure the bottom of your trousers. Also known as Twisters.

U

Ulu. 
The (normally remote) countryside.
UMIN. 
Ugliest Man In NATO.
Uphill Gardener. 
A homosexual.
U/S
Unservicable

V

Vagina Decliner. 
A homosexual see Uphill gardener.
Veneral Disease 
Remember that all local women concerned may be infected. Sheaths and prophylactic packets are available in units etc and should be used as necessary. (Taken from "The Conduct of Anti-Terrorist Operations in Malaya 1958")
VOR. 
Vehicle Off Road. For some real fun, take a piece of chalk to the MT square, and write this on a random vehicle or five.
Vortex, Administration. 
A disorganised person.

W

Wagon
Armoured Fighting Vehicle, usually Warrior, commanded by Heroes, driven by VC winners, carries seven sleeping blokes in the back. Has a 30mm comedy gun and 7.62mm food blender mounted co-axially.("nice one centurion like it, like it"!!)
Wah. 
Verbal response to a bone question asked by a superior. Bone questions asked by juniors are dealt with differently.
Wank Séance. 
During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being watched with disgust by your dead relatives.
Wank sock
A handy sock concealed under the bed to mop up mess after a wank. Never washed.
Wizards Sleeve. 
A way of describing a womans privates. The sleeve is more pronounced on a woman who has had a few sprogs.
Wobbley
Nick Name for Warsteiner Pills lager in Germany or getting angry as in " don't throw a wobbley mate"
Womb broom. 
see lamb cannon, mutton musket, beef repeater, paste gun, one eyed custard chucker, blue veined hooligan, pig skin bus, Bloodstick, Veiny Bang Stick
WRAC. 
The now defunct Womans Royal Army Corps, or Weekly Ration of Army Cnut. Whichever you prefer. To me it was always something filled with wine and screwed against a wall.

X

X-Piles. 
Unwanted visitors from Uranus.

Y

Yomp. 
See tab

Z

Zap 
To kill
ZULU Time. 
A 24hr clock all forces can use when planning operations with units outside theatre. ZULU time is Grenwich Mean Time, without daylight saving times.