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Ed Balls

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Would you trust your child to this man?

Edward Michael 'Ed' Balls (born 25 February 1967) is Labour MP for the West Yorkshire constituency of Normanton and is thus one of the Labour MPs who shat their pants when Northern Rock went tits up.

A Brownite, he believes in the big lie, micro management and ignoring the real issues - with a heavy dose of contempt for the electorate. He's actually a self-hating member of the British upper middle class. Privately educated in Nottingham, after which he went to Oxford University, he founded a drinking club called the 'Keble College Steamers' as a sort of pathetic imitation of the Bullingdon, Assassins or Piers Gaveston societies.

Currently (since June 2007) Eddie baby has been Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families and is thus the arch enemy of MDN.

He's (conveniently) married to Yvette Cooper MP, the Chief Secretary to the Treasury. So any t-shirts you want to print saying 'Yvette Cooper kisses Balls' can be accurate in several senses.

During the expenses scandal in the House of Commons, he and his wife tried via court injunction to hide that they

  • 'flipped homes' 3 times in 2 years,
  • claim £600 each month in food,
  • had their expenses docked, after each submitted two monthly claims for mortgage interest of nearly £1,300 when their mortgage statements showed the interest-only element of their mortgage standing at £733.

Its hoped he suffers a Portillo Moment in that he has a 9000+ majority but is so loathed in his constituency that that majority might be seriously overturned. Thus a ministers 'safe' seat is lost ... just like wot 'appened to Mr Portillo.

He does exactly what it says on his tin... talks balls but has a brother who seems quite sensible.