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Revision as of 16:04, 3 January 2007 by Bastelleim (talk | contribs) (Ze Germans.)
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Ze Germans.

Our natural allies. Very good at fighting and make alot of cars. Ze Germans are on the outside cultured, urbane, very organised, have cold iron discipline, crap hair cuts and weird, weird specs. Watching a German dance (especially a red-headed one) is like watching the geek kid at schoool disco get down to "come on Eileen" in 1986. They are found wareing leather trousers and gobbing noodles, sausages and drinking oil.

They haven't had a go at anyone (even the french) recently. This may be of concern for the future since they have been due to go off on one for the last 10 years and cultural pressure to F someone over has got to be building up. Historically, every 50 years or so they decide that they've really had enough of the French belt through Belgium and give them a proper shoeing. Ze Germans are well liked and understood as a consequence. The Town of Sedan does a very good frequent visitor package for German parties.

Abroad, however, Germans are possibly worse tourists than even the Americans. Deck chairs, buffet lines, ski resorts (the "Liftwaffe")...these settings bring out the worst aspects of the German character, such as rabid territorialism and aggressive speech, and make you want to strangle them with their own lederhosen.

Hun kit tends to be good and its rare that you hear a kraut whynge about his boots falling apart, bits of his rifle breaking or his communications going tits up but they don't like a bit of rough or hit like a Tom.

It is said that if it were not for the Channel the Brits would be knocking lumps out of the French as often as Ze Germans. Indeed for the last thousand years or so this has been the main run of play. Indeed joint German / British Frog smacking sessions have been very successful in the past and we are well overdue for one now.

"Hande Hoch Jean-Claude, Ich bin ein Englander"!

See also Germany

Famous Germans: