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Golf one one

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An AAC Adonis, G11 spends his days playing with his slinky and pumping liquid into large objects. A typical sigs NCO, he believes the hype about his abilities as a John Travolta-esque dancer, but fails to grasp that that is only in comparison with the average squaddie, for whom the squaddie-two-step is the pinnacle of coordination and grace. In a dance-off versus a mong given unlimited access to Sunny Delight however, he would be beaten like a gwar-step-child; his movements being like those of a wart-hog in quick-sand when compared with the mmllaarring grace of the mong.

Equally at home in desert, Arctic and temperate climates, G11 lives an exotic globe-trotting life, but fails to realise that these jaunts are less to do with his professional abilities than his CO deeming that his lack of social skills preclude him from staying in the UK for more than 3 months out of every 12. Allegedly attending the Salisbury ARRSE Crawl in June, he will be easy to spot as after several months ‘dry’ he will be collapsed in a pool of his own dribble and urine (having passed-out and swamped himself) after 2 pints of shandy.

see groundcrewman