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Graham Eckerman

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Terrorist-slotting SBS VC 'hero' and serial con artist. Quite how this specimen has avoided a filling in is almost as amazing as his fantastical exploits.

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The Conmando

This loathsome piece of shit first came to prominence in 2004, when Scotland’s Daily Record revealed how Graham Philip Eckerman, (then 24) posed as a Royal Marine and told people in the Orkneys he was on leave to raise £20,000 to 'send a mate's terminally ill son on holiday' – like yer do. Eckerman claimed he was trying to raise cash for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, a well known children's charity.

Eckerman, from County Durham, claimed to serve with 42 Commando, and that he was trying to raise the money to send a friend's son to the USA for a dream holiday. This was all news to the Booties, who’d never heard of the cnut... and neither had the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Quelle surprise! The Daily Record also revealed how Eckerman made up war stories in an effort to persuade Edinburgh pub-goers into funding him on a sponsored hike and swim.

Eckerman – in reality a catering worker - has a history of bullshitting, but it gets a whole lot better – or worse depending on how you look at it. After the dying kid episode it came to light he had been jailed for six months over a similar con and – get this little beauty - that he'd also been put on the Sex Offenders' Register in 1999 for abusing a girl aged eight. A walting paedophile. That’s got to be the lowest of the low? If that wasn’t enough, it also transpired that in 2004 Eckerman had carried out a bank fraud with a stolen ID card to the tune of a grand. A quality act I’m sure you’ll agree?

Eckerman has somehow managed to bullshit his way in to a succession of relationships due to his valiant VC-winning exploits with an elite ‘rescue squad’ of the SBS. In 2005 he won over the heart of an impressionable young American gal [Aren't they all?] Maria Anderson (34) whilst on a trip to Ireland. Eckerman boasted to have killed more than forty terrorists, including four women [Start running girl.], and said he was training police in anti-terrorist tactics.

He claimed to have killed one man by ‘shaking his hand with one hand and stabbing him in the throat with the other’ [Keep running sister!]. It gets better. He also told her he had been on a secret mission and was on the run from the US Secret Service for nicking secret files on Afghanistan, and that he'd done time in military prison for ambushing US Marines and tying them up as a practical joke... like yer do. Clearly bats this un.

Eckerman later emailed Maria, of San Francisco, to say he had been shot three times while on an overseas operation. By now suspicious, Maria rumbled his little scheme with that superb tool for walt-outing: an internet search. Good ol’ Google revealed a report on one of his earlier cons. ‘All those who think they’re getting their leg over tonight, one pace forwards. Stand fucking still that man!’ Poor (now shagless) Graham. Now with full spuds, it was only a matter of time before he hooked some other naïve lassie.

Next on the list was Kayleigh Maben. Kayleigh, from Edinburgh, was besotted with our hero, and who can blame her? He even played the sympathy card after telling the poor bint he’d lost his wife & daughter: dead that is, not like, for example, lost on the London Underground. Unfortunately, it all went a bit Pete Tong for our Graham when his non-exploits were discovered courtesy of the lovely Maria (see above). She bubbled him to his wife-to-be and he was promptly mag-to-gridded. Unfortunately, Graham somehow managed to weedle his way back in to her kecks and after some soul searching, stupid Kayleigh married the walting paedo in 2006. And they all lived happily ever after… probably.


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Liam Kissane

One Man and His Names

So, having completely trashed the 'good' name of Eckerman, he changed his name to that of a fictional soldier (hmm) - Liam Kissane. Did he use this new found freedom to get a job, do good works and bring benefit to society? Nope. He moved to Manchester and went back to scamming Help for Heroes supporters. Spotted - to much ARRSE amazement because of his non-issue boots (don't we all?) - by a pensioner and caught with ill-gotten gains of £300. Currently (Jun 10) awaiting sentencing.

Read all abaht it

See here

Some people never learn.

... and there's more!

His twin brother James Mercer!

At it again ...