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Holland

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  • FLAT.
  • Full of clog dancing dope smokers.
  • Easiest place in the world to steal a bike - other than Cambridge... or Oxford.
  • Easiest place in the world (apart from Venice) to accidently fall in to a canal.
  • Whole streets in the capital Amsterdam seem dedicated to selling young women... or at least renting them on a short term basis.
  • Most sought after job in Amsterdam is a window cleaner (not window licker).
  • Amsterdam is full of Brits who came for a weekend and never made it home.
  • Last country to succesfully invade Britain and take over the throne. This was in 1688 during the Glorious Revolution and our Stadhouder William of Orange invaded with a fleet so big that it saluted both Dover and Calais at the same time. He landed in Torbay and marched on London.