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Difference between revisions of "Lieutenant Colonel"

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The rank that allows one to turn seriously odd if you were not that way inclined before. Coincidentally, this rank is achieved at roughly the average age for a mid-life crisis.
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http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/10/UK-Army-OF4.gif
  
Now you can indulge your wildest ideas about Regimental codpieces, nude swimming with the chaps, enforced baptism, stable belts with pullovers and founding your own Scout Troop. Fortunately, the Army in its wisdom issues Units with a [[Chaplain]] and a [[Doctor|Regimental Medical Officer]] who can allegedly react to such behaviour.
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Colloq: "Half-Colonel"
  
Almost Lt Col's are rich and upper class, own 3 horses, 2 ponies, 1 Labrador, a Range Rover and have a daughter called Lucinda. Lt Col's spend most of their working day smoking opium, shaving their genitals and watching porn films. Their  favourite porn film being Bung Hole Busters.
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The other half of the only two Field Officer ranks in the British Army.
  
The remainder are [[LE]] Lt Cols, who are generally grizzled and scary, with an awful lot of blackmail stories about the [[Brigadier|Brigade Commander]] when he was a subaltern.
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A small enough fish to live in fear of the Brigade Commander, but when commanding the cosy little pool of Regimental life, quite often persuaded to imagine great power has been conferred upon one.
  
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Hence, the rank that allows one to turn seriously odd - even if one were not that way inclined before. Coincidentally, this rank is reached at roughly the average age for a mid-life crisis.
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This is the rank where, when the Peter Principle surfaces,  the impact further south on the food chain is most visible.  It really isn't pretty.
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Now one can indulge one's wildest ideas about regimental codpieces, nude swimming with the chaps, enforced baptism, [[Stable Belt|stable belts]] with [[Jersey Heavy Wool|pullovers]] and founding one's own Scout Troop. Fortunately, (see mid-life crisis) the Army in its wisdom issues units with a [[Padre]] and a [[Doctor|Regimental Medical Officer]] who can allegedly react to such behaviour.
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They can exhibit severe persecution complexes by assuming that every single soldier in the Regiment they command all have a personal mission to ruin their career. (In fairness, often they may have a point). 
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Almost all Lieutenant Colonels are rich and upper class, own three horses, two ponies, a [[Labrador]], a Range Rover and have a daughter called Lucinda. Lieutenant Colonels spend most of their working day smoking opium, shaving their genitals and watching [[porn]] films. Their  favourite porn film being ''Bung Hole Busters''.
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Most Lieutenant Colonels retire as soon as they can after commanding a Battalion - otherwise they know they will spend the rest of their Army career making tea for a series of more senior General Staff Officers.
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The remainder are [[LE]] Lt Cols, who are usually grizzled and scary, with an awful lot of blackmail stories about the [[Brigadier|Brigade Commander]] when he was a [[subaltern]].
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{{Ranks}}
 
[[category:Dictionary]]
 
[[category:Dictionary]]

Latest revision as of 03:18, 21 February 2011

UK-Army-OF4.gif

Colloq: "Half-Colonel"

The other half of the only two Field Officer ranks in the British Army.

A small enough fish to live in fear of the Brigade Commander, but when commanding the cosy little pool of Regimental life, quite often persuaded to imagine great power has been conferred upon one.

Hence, the rank that allows one to turn seriously odd - even if one were not that way inclined before. Coincidentally, this rank is reached at roughly the average age for a mid-life crisis.

This is the rank where, when the Peter Principle surfaces, the impact further south on the food chain is most visible. It really isn't pretty.

Now one can indulge one's wildest ideas about regimental codpieces, nude swimming with the chaps, enforced baptism, stable belts with pullovers and founding one's own Scout Troop. Fortunately, (see mid-life crisis) the Army in its wisdom issues units with a Padre and a Regimental Medical Officer who can allegedly react to such behaviour.

They can exhibit severe persecution complexes by assuming that every single soldier in the Regiment they command all have a personal mission to ruin their career. (In fairness, often they may have a point).

Almost all Lieutenant Colonels are rich and upper class, own three horses, two ponies, a Labrador, a Range Rover and have a daughter called Lucinda. Lieutenant Colonels spend most of their working day smoking opium, shaving their genitals and watching porn films. Their favourite porn film being Bung Hole Busters.

Most Lieutenant Colonels retire as soon as they can after commanding a Battalion - otherwise they know they will spend the rest of their Army career making tea for a series of more senior General Staff Officers.

The remainder are LE Lt Cols, who are usually grizzled and scary, with an awful lot of blackmail stories about the Brigade Commander when he was a subaltern.

ukFlag.jpg Rank Structure of the British Army 42px-Flag_of_the_British_Army.svg.png
Commissioned Ranks
Second Lieutenant | Lieutenant | Captain | Major | Lieutenant Colonel | Colonel | Brigadier | Major General | Lieutenant General | General | Field Marshal
Non-commissioned Ranks
Private | Lance Corporal | Corporal | Sergeant | Staff Sergeant | Warrant Officer Class 2 | Warrant Officer Class 1