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Lieutenant Colonel

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The rank that allows one to turn seriously odd if you were not that way inclined before. Now you can indulge your wildest ideas about Regimental codpieces, nude swimming with the chaps, enforced baptism, stable belts with pullovers and founding your own Scout Troop.

All Lt Col's are rich and upper class, own 3 horses, 2 ponies, 1 Labrador, a Range Rover and have a daughter called Lucinda. Lt Col's spend most of their working day smoking opium, shaving their genitals and watching porn films. Their favourite porn film being Bung Hole Busters.