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Difference between revisions of "Pant Weapons"

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The progressive and ever increasing armoury of the area enclosed within a mans boxer shorts....
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<nowiki>The progressive and ever increasing armoury of the area enclosed within a mans boxer shorts....
  
 
   "This varied and wonderful array of weapons started with the basic and simple Mk1 Copulation Club, which was soon succeeded by the more heavy duty and dangerous Mutton Dagger. The only notable upgrade of the aforementioned Mutton Dagger in the melee league was the larger and heavier Pork Sword, which enjoyed a short period of fame before the Man Musket came along and pissed all over it. The Pork Sword may still be found occassionally in the collections of some hardcore Pant Weapon collecting enthusiasts (see Dale The Snail).
 
   "This varied and wonderful array of weapons started with the basic and simple Mk1 Copulation Club, which was soon succeeded by the more heavy duty and dangerous Mutton Dagger. The only notable upgrade of the aforementioned Mutton Dagger in the melee league was the larger and heavier Pork Sword, which enjoyed a short period of fame before the Man Musket came along and pissed all over it. The Pork Sword may still be found occassionally in the collections of some hardcore Pant Weapon collecting enthusiasts (see Dale The Snail).
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-Extract from 'A Short History of Pant Weapons' by Sir Dae, priced at £6.99 and available from no good bookshops.
 
-Extract from 'A Short History of Pant Weapons' by Sir Dae, priced at £6.99 and available from no good bookshops.
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Revision as of 02:22, 24 March 2006

The progressive and ever increasing armoury of the area enclosed within a mans boxer shorts.... "This varied and wonderful array of weapons started with the basic and simple Mk1 Copulation Club, which was soon succeeded by the more heavy duty and dangerous Mutton Dagger. The only notable upgrade of the aforementioned Mutton Dagger in the melee league was the larger and heavier Pork Sword, which enjoyed a short period of fame before the Man Musket came along and pissed all over it. The Pork Sword may still be found occassionally in the collections of some hardcore Pant Weapon collecting enthusiasts (see Dale The Snail). Following the development of the Man Musket, a rapid period of advancement followed, seeing the development of such weapons as the Lamb Cannon, the Meat Mortar and the Ham Howitzer. These particular items enjoyed a long period of popularity and still continue to form the base templates for modern Pant Weapons. Nowadays, most fighting men are resrticted to the Mk18 Rump Rifle, although one in eight men is to found in possession of a Beef Bazooka and a similar number of men carry the Heckler & Kock PSG-1 (Producer, Super Goo, Mk1). Other uncommon modern Pant Weapons include the SAM (Snatch to Anus Missile) also known as 'Stinger', the slightly more commonplace Meat Missile and LSW (Light Sex Weapon) and the 94mm LAW (Light-duty Arrse Widener), although only the unluckiest of men is unfortunate enough to have the latter as his issue Pant Weapon. Although the path of modern Pant Weapons cannot be predicted too far into the future, one major item currently in the pipeline (or not, as the case may be until it is released into general service) is the OICW (Outrageous Individual Copulation Weapon)." -Extract from 'A Short History of Pant Weapons' by Sir Dae, priced at £6.99 and available from no good bookshops.