Phrases You'd Rather not Hear

• Your PTI for P Company is a guy named Sandy.
• We're from the government, we're here to help you.
• Relax, you'll be home by Christmas.
• We're sending you to 224 Signal Squadron
• "You know I told you I was over sixteen ? Well..."
• You've got three weeks to live
• The Americans will be providing the close air support.
• You're posted to Tidworth
• Your new Troop Sgt has just done P company
• Leave is cancelled
• Pick up the log
• Step to the time I call out
• Do you accept my award
• It's character building
• I'm sorry, Sir, but I've had to remove your penis and both your testicles
• We've always done it that way!
• You are cordially invited to the 3 Para Mortar Platoon Rohypnol Party
• My office. Now.
• Move to Grid 12345678 where the helicopters will pick you up at 0300.
• Do you have anything planned for leave?
• It's your turn to blow the blind grenade.
• OK, integrity question, did you do it?
• I think it's yours
• Crack, Crack, Ping, Ping, THUMP.
• Sunray is down.
• Breaking into double time
• Taking you a stage further in your foot drill......... I left you in this position
• Rifle exercises judging the time.......
• Reveille 05 early hours and Drill until NAAFI break
• Contact, wait..out.
• Follow me, it's a short cut.
• Of course the Claymore is pointing away from us...er..which way are WE pointing ?
• Good effort lads, outstanding entry drills, but it's the wrong house.
• Has anyone seen the enemy? Right, You! ... Draw Fire.
• He's waking up, pass the KY, it's better when they fight back.
• GAS GAS GAS
• The RMP are in the block
• You feature rather a lot in the Christmas duty list
• I forgot to tell you, I've got herpes
• You will need this opened umbrella dragged from your piss slit
• Don't make plans for the weekend
• The PRE team have just come through the gates
• You'll get it in theatre
• Is that it?
• We're all out of them, fill out all these forms and we will indent for them.
• There's an Officer in here improperly dressed...
• It's your round.
• Too slow, do it again!
• Standby....
• CDT are here??
• ONE! Two, Three, ONE!!
• Mr Vice...that'll be a bottle of port
• Welcome to RM Bickliegh. I hear there's some special entertainment booked later on...
• You're in your own time now.
• My tea's a salad.
• Sh1t rolls down hill.
• Bug out!!!
• Standby your beds!
• You're up first. Now.
• It's either cancer or penile warts.
• The RSM wants your feet in his in tray NOW.
• Tony needs something to whip up voter support and he's decided on another war.
• We're giving free lighters to Labour peers.
• Right, lads, this one's a silent breach.
• Bend over. This may smart a bit!
• We need a decoy....
• You shure got a prurty mouth.....
• If it ain't raining it ain't training.
• Soldier, I'm the Platoon Commander, I should have the map!
• Right-ho chaps, I know where we are, follow me!
• Can you just have a quick look at my 432?
• More Tea Vicar?
• Don't worry lads. I was in the RAF you know.
• Has anyone actually read the manual Sgt?
• One volunteer required!
• Just a shandy for me please.
• All leave is cancelled until morale improves.
• Iraq? Is that near Catterick?
• Mmmmm...I think it's time to PVR.
• You'll like Osnabruck its a great posting?
• The alert states gone up and we need to double the guard!
• Remove your canister and take a deep breath.
• Can I see his Conduct Sheets Sergeant Major.
• 14 Days Restriction of Privileges, March Out!
• Open your lockers?
• Report to the cookhouse/kitchen for DROs.
• Well, we finished an hour early , and as it's such a pleasant day...
• AGAI 67...
• Tony has decided to send troops to the Lebanon on peace keeping duties.....
• .........using UN rules of engagement........
• .................with only 2 rounds each......
• .....................which have to last you the whole tour!
• Ok lads we've got a choice. Either The US Air Force A-10's do our close air support ... or its RAF Harriers!
• Greenie to the pan!
• Cyprus is cancelled lads. Budget cuts from LAND I'm afraid. However, we managed to get Sennybridge at short notice for April.
• Do you know you have glowstick on your helmet?
• We need you to lay this comms line... if you see the minefield you're going the right way...
• I'm tired, you can finish yourself off...
• For you Tommy, ze war is over!
• Sarg, what is this stuck in my gun!
• Thats no hill, just get up it!
• Welcome to P Company.
• If it's not raining, it's not training.
• Civvy's pay a fortune to do this! you get to do it for free and get paid for the privilege!!
• Brecon
• Round off line!!
• Press-up position...Down!!
• You've let me down, you've let the Battery down, but above all, you've let yourself down
• JPA
• Have you read this book? Brilliant innit?!
• Otterburn
• Lower... Raise...
• You're on stag
• Prepare to double!
• Right you cunts, reference that prominent woodline roughly 4km away? I want each of you to bring me a twig from it...
• DOUBLE!!!!!
• Incoming!!
• CRACK....THUMP.
• Auntie Karen Matthews is coming over the babysit.
• This flu you've got ... you weren't in Mexico recently were you?
• QUICK MARK TIME!!
• Don't bother unpacking as there has been a change of plan.
• I'm sorry, I can't find your name on the list.
• Excellent idea Lieutenant.
• Sure, take what you need from the stores. We got an excellent deal on Webtex the other day.
• Right, that's Sennybridge booked for October.
• "ACTIVE EDGE, GET OUT YER BEDS"