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Sex Diseases!
With some STDs, your pussy burns...bwahahahahahahahahahahah!

STD Is the outdated term for venerial disease (so called because you get it through your venerium). It stands for 'sexually transmitted diseases' - also known as the clap. You can get these by kissing, holding hands, looking too closely at those of the opposite gender or hanging around in Chat.

Kinds of STDs

  • Genital Warts - Small, painful itchy bumps on your cock or cunt. It cannot be cured; look forward to a lonely, boobless life, because no one is going to want to fuck you now.
  • Genital Herpes - Pretty much the same deal.
  • Gonorrhea - Causes a pus-y sore on the end of your cock.
  • Syphilis - First causes a rash all over your body, then makes you go crazy and invade other countries.
  • Trichomoniasis - Trich is a sneaky little bastard of a sexually transmitted flagellate bacteria. It is invariably symptomless: the missus will be tested for it every time she goes for a smear so a positive result means serious trubbel. The cure is a five day course of the one antibiotic that has an Antabuse effect when mixed with alcohol: a testing way for the afflicted to simultaneously discover they are an alcoholic as well.
  • Crabs - Lice that live in your pubic hair ... or fly planes.
  • Scabies - Errr...probably a sex disease. If tramps are your style.
  • AIDS - Time to start spending Sunday mornings looking around Caskets R Us pretty soon. Prevalent in hotel pools, often closing them down completely.
  • Chlamydia - Usually doesn't cause symptoms, so that you don't even know you have it until you get an ectopic pregnancy about 15 years later, and have to have an abortion to save your life, and so get kicked out of the church and burn in hell for eternity.

Can also refer to:

  • Subscriber Trunk Dialling - BT's poncey name for a dialling code.
  • Abbreviation of standard.

References in Culture

  • Serious mood-piece song about this emotive subject.
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