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Vuvuzela

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A plastic trumpet-like thing some two feet in length and capable of producing only one note (B flat).

Stand by for these things to turn up on the streets of Great Britain - there's something irresistible about a combination of drawing attention to yourself and irritating everyone else.

Two or three minutes of exposure to one of these and the Dalai Lama would rip it out of its owner's hand and beat him to death with it.

South African football fans "play" vuvuzelas constantly from start to end of the match. How very different from personal abuse aimed at the referee and chanting racist slogans, which is the very soul of sportsmanship and is probably what the royal family do when they go to football matches.