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Anal probe

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Somewhere in the region of 98.7% of all United States citizens claim, at some point during their lives, to have been kidnapped by grey aliens with big, black eyes and teleported to their 'mother ship'. There, they receive an extensive, painful and mechanical anal probing. Ouch!

Actually, this tells us a lot, though mostly about Americans rather than the big scary universe out there.

Firstly, it suggests that many Americans are evidently as mad as a box of frogs which have been fed LSD and amphetamines throughout their lives.

Secondly, it suggests that Americans may be up for a bit of 'back door lovin but you're going to have to put the grey body suit and Ray-Bans on first (which seems a small price to pay).

Thirdly, it enables you to understand why a majority of US voters saw George W Bush as a safe pair of hands to be President and Commander in Chief.