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Augusto Pinochet

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You fun my wife?

The once El Presidente of Chile and Army General. His most famous move was the coup against the (then) Marxist government in 1973, alongside being responsible for the deaths of thousands of Chileans. Also once a close friend of Margaret Thatcher.

It was this 'friends' bit that dropped us in all sorts of ethical poo. All that genocidal murdering of political opponents was conveniently overlooked by the Tory government when they needed a bezzer way back in '82 when the Argentineans decided to take a weekend break in the Falkland Islands.

Being an affable sort, and one with an eye for business, he let us use 'facilities' in Chile in return for arms sales. Nothing new there, as we'd been flogging Chile kit since... well... for a long time anyhow.

In 1998, Augustus decided to take full advantage of our generous health care system (though he did go private and avoided the NHS like the Bubonic Plague). Whilst on a visit to the UK a warrant was issued by a Spanish judge for his arrest due to him being very nasty to Spanish nationals during his tenure as boss. He was half-heartedly slapped in irons whilst the legal process ground in to action. Tired of the interminable grinding, he fucked off back to Chile in 2000 and duly expired six years later. Job's a good un!

Not to be confused with

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’Penis’ O’Sheah

'Penis' O'Shea, the notorious cheroot-puffing Irish flasher, who (oddly and coincidentally) is wanted in Chile for something or other... probably.