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Barbecue

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A form of cooking guaranteed to bring out the primaeval in the male. Naked flame (often naked Booties in RN BBQ's) and raw meat have the propensity to turn the most avid cooking biff into a close approximation (in their own mind, at least) of the Head Chef at the Dorchester.

In the Army, usually practised on halved oil-drums and in the presence of prodigious quantities of alcohol. The standard Army barbecue consists of:

  • 1 x small piece of steak, slightly burned on one side, raw on the other OR carbonised past identification except by dna
  • 1 x sausage, slightly burned on one side, raw on the other OR carbonised past identification except by dna
  • 1 x burger, slightly burned on one side, raw on the other OR carbonised past identification except by dna
  • 1 x chicken leg, slightly burned on one side, raw on the other OR carbonised past identification except by dna
  • 1 x large dollop of potato salad - bizarrely also burned
  • 1 x large dollop of mixed veg slathered in mayo (too soggy to burn)
  • 1 x bread roll (oily fingerprints optional)

This menu may only varied with the approval of the Secretary of State for Defence.

Spit Roast

Never confuse an invitation to a Squadron barbecue with an invitation to a 3 Para Mortar Platoon Spit Roast.

Barbicue

Snooker equipment for small girls' dolls.


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