Baron Castleshort and the Cockfest
- 1 Origins of the Cockfest
- 2 An Innocent Guest Book
- 3 The Opening Bombardment
- 4 The Counter Attack begins (well - sort of...)
- 5 The Real Bombardment begins
- 6 Another Counter-Attack
- 7 Celebrity Corner
- 8 Turning Serious for a Moment
- 9 Normal Abuse will be Resumed as Soon as Possible
- 10 Chapter 42 - This is all a prank by Jimbo...
- 11 il smash your fuking faces in!
- 12 A Serious Challenge is Laid Down
- 13 The Bombardment Continues
- 14 A Client Appears
- 15 Normal Abuse is Resumed
Origins of the Cockfest
Twas in August 2011 that the good Baron Castleshort decides to send another legal letter to ARRSE. Sensible men don't do this - it's akin to prodding a hornet's nest. Before long the counter-offensive was under way.
with target indication given shortly thereafter.
The great cockfest was on..
An Innocent Guest Book
Poor little Guest Book, containing but simple enquiries....
The Opening Bombardment
First came a simple ranging shot, then a round dead on target.
More batteries opened fire...
The Counter Attack begins (well - sort of...)
A feeble riposte from 'down under', rapidly seen off by a leprechaun
Normal service was resumed as soon as possible.
The Real Bombardment begins
The return of the leprechaun
We learn about Jimbo's cloak of invisibility - no wonder he was never spotted in any of the units he 'served' in.
His Holiness the Pope becomes involved...
Be afraid, be very afraid. The female ninjista Lisa 'Pinknails' Baldwin joins the fray. The head of the female IBA rides to Jimbo's rescue...
Only to be caught in the open by a 'Time on Target' salvo...
The first satisfied customer turns up - step forward colonel Gadaffi.
We are honoured by a visit from HM the Queen and (from beyond the grave) Saddam Hussain.
Followed by a retired general...
...and the founder of the IBA
Turning Serious for a Moment
Theses pot shots are not aimed at members of the IBA - many of whom are decent and well meaning.
Normal Abuse will be Resumed as Soon as Possible
However did you get the impression James G Shortt is not very popular with the readership of ARRSE?
What brought this outbreak of festive messages on you may ask. Could it be Jimbo send a letter in to ARSSE threatening legal action?
Cue a chorus of 'why are we waiting' in the background. (Or should that be 'why are we walting'?)
Chapter 42 - This is all a prank by Jimbo...
In which we learn that (a) Jimbo has put up all these massages as a prank and (b) he really is a fine soldier, especially when on classified ops. 'Call of Duty' really has a lot to answer for.
Mike Golden pops in to give a reference...
il smash your fuking faces in!
One of the more literate members of the IBA appears to defend Jimbo
A Serious Challenge is Laid Down
Members of the IBA are asked to verify the medals worn by Jimbo.
Answer came there none...
The Bombardment Continues
A Client Appears
Not being able to control your guest book appears bad for business...
And after that interlude...
Normal Abuse is Resumed
--To be continued--