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Bob Ainsworth

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Blithering Hayseed

The Serious Bit

Self confessed f**kwit "I don't pretend to be able to write a great thesis or doctorate"

From 5 June 2009, when he was promoted from Armed Forces Minister to replace the infinitely forgettable John Hutton to 11 May 2010, when New Labour's death-grip on power was finally shattered, he was the Secretary of State for Defence. He presides over Defence which is rated financially at 21st out of 23 cabinet posts. On a very good day he can be considered to be a mediocre minister (... just!).

Bob began employed life as a metal-basher at the Jaguar car plant at Coventry where he was a pretty standard Marxist loud mouth. Became an MP through his union activities where he flourished as one of those murky MPs who tells all the other MPs what to do.

Very much wanted to keep the House of Commons closed to public scrutiny (apparently forgetting his 'of the people' roots) because he wanted to hide his dodgy expenses (see below). He's also very strongly against any Iraq inquiry...hmm, something to hide there too, perhaps?

Asked in an interview for the Mirror who his heroes are, he said: "My heroes are the non-commissioned officers. If I had another life that's what I'd be - a regimental sergeant major or a similar rank. That's where the spirit of the armed forces is.".......

RSM would be a good definition of this useless waste of genetic material - Really Shit Minister!

His speeches put him in the "European army" group.

Not so serious

Known to Her Majesty's Armed Forces as Bob Aint-worth-it, Bollocks Bob and even Sideshow Bob.

Thick as Pigshit

Showed just how thick he is by blurting out in a SKY interview 24/1/10 that the public will "rue the day if they wind up with a Conservative government... after the 6 May". Labour sources said Mr Ainsworth had been talking "speculatively" as they frantically tried to downplay the cock up.

Alternatively could this be a stitch up by Labour using Sideshow Bob as bait? .... NURSE! the screens, tranquillizers and my tin foil hat please!

Of course, reality showed he was close but no precision strike weapon. Yes the election was on the 6th but we didn't get rid of the b@stards for another 5 days!

How criminal is Bob?

Total second home claims:

2004-05: £19,275

2005-06: £18,911

2006-07: £18,878

2007-08: £23,083