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Bradford

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Bradford is a city in West Yorkshire that used to be famous as a centre of the textile industry. Nowadays, the dark, satanic mills have been replaced by dark, satanic mosques and the myriad minarets pierce the skyline like a SCUD convention.

To the uninitiated, arriving in Bradford can be both unsettling and bewildering. The sign at the railway station reads like the koran, and one could be forgiven for thinking that they'd erroneously taken the Orient Express to Turkey.

Bradford is synonymous with the multi-culti ideal and is pretty much an ethnic enclave that bears little if any resemblance to anything intrinsically 'Northern'. The flat cap has been replaced by the hijab and whippets are noticeable by their absence (except rotating slowly in kebab shops). However, if it's halal black pudding that you're after then a trip to the bazaars should definitely be on the cards.