Bubonic Plague

Rodent-borne bacterial pandemic that famously laid waste to vast tracts of Europe in the good ol' days. Judging by the increase in the rat population - in part due to many local councils deciding upon fortnightly refuse collections - I think its time we had a rematch. Seeing as Britain is being flooded by (an average of) 15.8 million filthy foreign devils every week, it's only a matter of time before this over-crowded, fertile breeding ground is exploited by our furry nemeses.

A return of the plague could well put paid to the burgeoning chav problem, but is more likely to decimate the aged - inadvertently solving the pensions crisis. That's providing Bird Flu doesn't finish us all off first!

The childrens' poem ...

Ring a ring o' roses,

A pocketful of posies.

Trisha! Trisha!

We all fall down.

is supposed to be either connected to Bubonic Plague or daytime TV (both equally as damaging to society) ... or it's something Nostradamus said about Nu-Labour - can't remember right now but it will come back to me.