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Cheshire

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A largely suburban cultural wasteland south of Manchester and home to pretty much all the Man U players. Natural home of the onyx coffee table, the Audi Q7 and the mock-tudor 5 bedroom mansionette.

The population of Cheshire can be neatly pigeonholed thus:

  • "Professional" footballists
  • Beauticians, nail 'technicians', hairdressers, personal trainers, tanning salon 'technicians', personal trainer's beautician's hairdressers etc.
  • Audi & BMW salesmen.
  • WAGS and wannabe-WAGs (who often already fall into the second category).
  • Bemused old people wondering why The Dog & Duck is now an AllBarOne and whether a "Jojoba and Dead Sea Salt Exfoliating Scrub" genuinely is good value at the advertised £75 and if it's got something to do with dog food.
  • Ordinary blokes trying to dress like footballists in a desparate attempt to cop off with categories 2 & 4 above, buying them one bottle of champagne in a club (using about half that month's disposable income in the process) and putting on a deeply unconvincing foreign accent whilst getting their friends to refer to them as "Christiano".

Like Essex but still Northern.

Woodford Aerodrome is the (still)birthplace of the Nimrod MRA4. Eventually.