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Screw fairtrade profit sharing ... wheres my fecking latte!

Bean originally grown in northern Africa that, when brewed in hot water, produces a dark, bitter flavoured liquid abso-fecking-lutely laced with caffeine that acts as a stimulant on the human nervous system.

Introduced to the west by the Ottoman army (they used it in place of alcohol) just after they took a shoeing of quite staggering proportions outside Vienna. In the baggage train was a HUGE supply of coffee beans and it wasn't long till the first Starbucks opened in Vienna.

Its rumoured that Coffee was believed by some Christians to be the devil's drink. The Pope heard this and decided to taste it before he banished it. He enjoyed it so much he baptized it, saying "coffee is so delicious it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it."

Without coffee the entire world's IT departments would collapse into a coma.

The Spam armed forces run on coffee in the same way that the British Army runs on tea except spam armour doesn't have a built in kettle.