The British Military Open Encyclopedia - ARRSE-Pedia. Back to British Army Rumour Service Home

Credit Card

From ARRSEpedia
Jump to: navigation, search

Public Perception

A credit card is a small rectangular piece of plastic that when waved in the direction of a shop, mysteriously allows you to help yourself to whatever you fancy.

There is a small minimum cost (say £5 a month) for this wonderful service which never runs out as the credit card companies (mostly run by banks ... mostly) will simply up your spending limit if you ever get near to it.

You are not limited to the number of cards you can own and huge shopping expeditions (not unlike Victorians on safari in africa during the 1800's) can be organized and 'paid for' by plastic. You can even get real money using these cards at ATM machines.

Result: chavs on benefit can live like the bleeding Beckhams without the realization that they cant afford the latest 78" plasma TV with built in microwave, telephone and dog walker. They are then often to be found on TV claiming they "didn't know nuffink about how we go into debt innit!"

God do we love our credit cards!


A credit card is an extremely useful item allowing the purchase of items in shops over the internet or in shops without the need for cash to change hands at that precise moment. It is of course a form of debt.

Most sensible people pay off their credit cards at the end of the month however thanks to Gordon Brown and his debt driven economy as well as the 'must have it now' generation, this has resulted in about £300 billion in credit card debt.

Obviously this debt needs to be paid but if you bought a lot you couldn't actually afford in one month, the odds are you'll do the same the following month since you have a image and bling lifestyle to keep up! So the debt piles up and you cant afford to reduce the main sum, all you can do is try to keep up with the interest which can be charged at 20%. This has led to the growth of debt consolidation companies who take all your debts, roll them up into one big ball and then own you for the rest of your life.

Credit card companies (banks) of course love these people who cant clear their bills as they can be charged ruinous rates of interest. People who clear their cards every month actually cost the banks money resulting in perfectly solvent people being told they were a bad risk by EGG simply because EGG weren't making any money off of them. Cnuts!

Thus it is that this country is drowning in debt.