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Deep Fried Battered Haggis

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A haggis is a concoction of fat, sheep's innards, herbs, spices and oatmeal, stuffed into a sheep's stomach and then steamed or boiled until cooked through. Quite tasty and subtle, though not exactly healthy.

But should you require an instant heart attack, go to a Jock chip shop where they will serve you with haggis, lovingly coated in batter and deep fried: the Scottish equivalent of a suicide pill. Yum yum.

Alternatively:

A small, round creature native only to Scotland that the Scots charge the thick English a fortune to hunt. Reknowned for the fact that its legs are shorter on one side of its body than the other, this enables it to run upright whilst traversing hills. What happens when it turns around to run the other way has never been fully explained......

See also: Jockanese food