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Department for Children, Schools and Families

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Who We?

The DCSF was created on in June, 2007 upon the disbandment of the Department for Education and Skills (DfES). It is supposedly responsible for all issues affecting people up to the age of 19 - including ejukashun. It is led by the Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families, who is currently Ed Balls - which is very apt and sums up the system beautifully.

The Myth

According to the department's blurb, (the) Department for Children, Schools and Families leads work across Government to ensure that all children and young people:

  • Stay healthy and safe
  • Secure an excellent education and the highest possible standards of achievement
  • Enjoy their childhood
  • Make a positive contribution to society and the economy
  • Have lives full of opportunity, free from the effects of poverty

All very laudable. However...

The Reality

Let's take this point by point.

  • For 'healthy' read obese. Fast food diets aside, this is compounded by the Health and Safety malaise that prohibits kids form exerting themselves in case their hearts explode after a stiff bout of tiddlywinks in the playground. Forget sport too, it's way too competitive and 50% have got to be losers - not good when government dictat decrees that everyone's a winner. Oh, and all the school playing fields have been sold off to property developers.
  • Excellent education to the highest possible standards? Are they serious? Half the dopey cnuts can't even read & write never mind achieve the dizzy heights of O and A Levels. Though some do try and make the grade, just quite what the grade is is open to question. Most are content to spend their days texting their m8s, dreaming of appearing on the X Factor or being shot by Da Niggaz Crue from 5c.
  • Enjoy their childhood? And what 'childhood' is that precisely? Pedalled with homoerotic literature and instructed in the arts of clamjousting from the age of 4, the little darlings will be lucky if they can escape state-sanctioned pregnancy before puberty kicks in - or Da Niggaz Crue fill them with 9mm for 'dissin' thez bitches innit'?
  • A positive contribution to society and the economy? The only positive contribution that will be made will be to the takings of Mothercare (or more accurately Poundstretcher) and those of Tescos and Aldi - purveyors of finest quality and (very) discount lager.
  • Have lives full of opportunity, free from the effects of poverty? The opportunities are pregnancy (avec council house), prison and death by overdose. The poverty bit is a bit rich considering the little cnuts always seem to have enough money in their pockets to afford drugs, guns and Wifebeater - and certainly more in their pockets than the taxpayers who are being bled dry by the state to fund their 'lifestyle', or the poor buggers who are trying to eke out a living on the State Pension. Oh the irony.

The Future's (Not) Bright

The government would have you believe that the state education system is better than ever; that literacy and numeracy are at an all time high and that more young people are going to university and gaining degrees than ever before. The streets are awash with the flower of youth acting the plays of the Bard, quoting Plato and Nietzsche and discussing the finer points of quantum theory.

It is, of course, all bollocks. It's a national tragedy that a nation that had the highest levels of literacy and basic education in the world has been reduced to this - and all because of naive, misguided Left Wing policies that were doomed from the onset but nevertheless pedalled to an unsuspecting society in the name of progress.

External Links

Official Goverment Propaganda Site