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Disabled

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A word used to describe a non-able bodied individual. Unfortunately, this once perfectly servicable word has fallen foul of the Equality Nazis as it implies that the poor unfortunate saddled with the 'disability' is little better than a cabbage on the usefulness front and worth less than a tin of Tesco Value tomatoes in the overall social pecking order.

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Extreme Motability

So, after a re-branding exercise and (no doubt) much brainstorming over Mocca latt├ęs, some bright spark has come up with 'mobility impaired'. It's all very confusing really, as anyone who's witnessed a mong sprinting after an ice cream van will attest.

Most people who are genuinely dis... 'mobility impaired' resent being re-branded as such, and are far more mobile than half the freeloading faux spakkers claiming disability benefit (and free parking) for injuries sustained whilst re-arranging garden gnomes or whilst lifting a particularly heavy Argos catalogue. You won't see that bunch of wasters tooling around the streets of London during the Marathon on the mother of all bogeys, no siree! You will, however see the wheelchair-bound freefalling from 20,000ft, sailing single handed (literally) across vast tracts of ocean, giving Steve Austin a run for his money in the aforementioned beat up and - most importantly - keeping the more 'specialist' adjuncts of the German movie industry buoyant. Proper ol' job!


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