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Eastenders

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Mind numbing 'realistic' soap opera broadcast by the BBC thirty-five times a week at a cost of 1 billion pounds a year.

Set in a mythical East London suburb called Walford, it charts the misery, poverty, hates, crimes, jealousies, death and insanities of a small group of inbred chav scum living around Albert Square - who do nothing except shag, kill and thieve off each other... and collect their dole money (obviously).

Given the sheer misery generated by this program, viewers are often glad to get back to their humdrum existence holding onto the thought that 'No matter how shit my life is, at least its not as bad as those feckers in Albert Square'.

Watched by 20% of the UK population, the New Labour government struck on the idea of using it for mind control. Government-appointed script doctors modify and approve scripts right up to shooting the program to keep 'on message'... well at least as 'on message' as this load of U-turners can be.

Is it any coincidence then that the week Tony Blair decided to clamp down on immigration, hundreds of Hungarian plumbers and builders invaded Albert Square, leaving a trail of leaky plumbing, cowboy workmanship and bubonic plague? The week where all the characters got their enhanced body armour BEFORE the invasion of West Walford may have been a spin doctor taking things too far.