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Eastern European

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The most recent invasion of these fair shores, the Eastern European is fleeing poor economic conditions and REALLY naff Eurovision song contest songs in search of making a few quid.

Most popular economic migrant are the Polish. We have a good relationship with Poland after rather foolishly and belatedly standing up to the horrid Hun for them in 1939. Last time the Poles came over and formed a Parachute Brigade, provided 240,000 troops and were there in droves at the Battle of Britain. This time the Poles have turned up as Plumbers (desperately needed) and hot hot barmaids (ALWAYS needed). They also brought their beer ... and its not bad.

More worryingly is the recent influx of Bulgarians (who we've not got on with at all) who are slipping in and, according to the Daily Mail, are all pikey chav gangster filth... but the Mail says that about everyone not quite WASP BRITISH.