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Folkstone

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Folkstone marina

Historic port town in the county of Kent and one half of the high-tech sewer pipe otherwise known as the Euro Tunnel that, unfortunately, connects us with France.

Once a reasonably pleasant place, Folkstone has since been reduced to a crime-ridden, rubbish-strewn wasteland full of swarthy foreign types with absolutely no dress sense or manners. Of consequence, Folkstone smells of wet anoraks, piss and garlic - a phenomenon that can be detected several miles away under the right (or wrong) atmospheric conditions.

The popular conception is that Folkstone is the first port of call for the legions of gypos who want to break into our glorious turf, but it is also the portal used by many indigenous types who have smelt the coffee and are getting the fuck out of Dodge.