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Glesca

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Pigeon-gaelic for, "A dear, green place."

The way, "Glasgow," is pronounced in the indigenous patois.

It is important to be familiar with these linguistic variations - if only for matters of personal survival.

For instance, "Is your mother an accomplished sempstress?" is an innocuous question if posed in Glasgow.

If, however, the same question were posed in Glesca (you see the difference?), "Kin your mammy sew?" I would suggest it is time to change pubs. Alternatively the correct Glesca response is to turn to the questioners friend and say 'tell yir pal his patter shite and so is he'. Grabbing a weapon at this stage is to be encouraged.