The British Military Open Encyclopedia - ARRSE-Pedia. Back to British Army Rumour Service Home

Go Ugly Early

From ARRSEpedia
Jump to: navigation, search

This tactic is employed in order that a squaddie can avoid disappointment at the end of an evening out. Instead of wasting time, energy and Beer Tokens on an unattainable female, the sensible squaddie GOES UGLY EARLY in the hope that he can pick up a lady who rates somewhere below unattainable but somewhere above hippocrocagrillapig. The benefits of this are twofold:

1. The G.U.E. prey is selected before the beer-goggle effect is at maximum strength, thus the squaddie who plays the G.U.E. game isn't left with the absolute dregs of the hippocrocagrillapig pool.

2. The G.U.E. prey is probably aware that she's not the most attractive female in the room, so in order to stake her claim, will probably buy the Adonis-like squaddie a few drinks during the course of the evening, and if the squaddie is really lucky, the G.U.E. prey may also cough up for a pre-coital kebab, an entre to the Badly Stuffed Kebab that he'll eat later.


It is also quite permissable to Go Ginger Early - so if she's ugly and a gwar, you really can't go too badly wrong. A recent rise in the number of Go Disabled Early has led some to question whether the practice has gone just that little bit too far.