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No.2 Golok

Machete issued for many years for jungle training and operations. Introduced in the latter stages of WW2, the 'golok' - a general South East Asian term used to describe short swords and machetes - is a very basic and effective cutting & chopping tool and was manufactured by Martindale of Birmingham.

The machete came with a simple '44 pattern heavy duty riveted canvas scabbard with both hooks and belt loop making it usable with '58 pattern webbing. The double riveted beech wood handle had a hole to facilitate lanyard attachment.

This iconic piece of equipment saw service in Burma, Malaya, Kenya, Borneo and even found its way to Vietnam. For many squaddies, however, it will be forever associated with Belize and Brunei tours.

The machete could often be found painted in camouflage colours; partly to prevent the crude 13" steel blade rusting, but mainly for effect. Carriage of this tool on one's belt kit marked the wearer as a man amongst men and one who'd survived the rigours of the 'J'. He was to be respected, for he was ally as feck. Many beers were to be purchased for said wearer, and (if possible) young virgins sacrificed for his pleasure.

Unfortunately - like most things - it was not to last. Someone in their infinite wisdom decided that this nailsest of blades needed replacing and thus a 'new & improved' golok was introduced in the mid-'90s.

The latest issue machete is gay by comparison to its predecessor - and is significantly shorter by three inches (or so). It comes in a butyl PLCE-compatible sheath that is available in either olive green or DPM.

Though the old pattern golok is no longer a 1098 item, it is still commercially available and would be the ideal tool for impressing young nigs, officers and the ladies. It would also be the weapon of choice for whipping turnips off should it all go Pete Tong in amongst the Zulus.

For those who are never satisfied in the pursuit of allyness, see kukri.