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Graham Winters

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Who He?

Graham ‘Snowy’ Winters first appeared on the ARRSE radar in October 2010, and quickly fell off it after he was trumped by a bunch of airsofters ‘re-enacting’ Op. HERRICK in the now legendary ‘A Walt For All Seasons’ thread.

ARRSEr ‘MacSapper’ had met an ex-Army Air Corps bandsman who claimed to have been given a medical discharge and who couldn't drum any more as he’d developed stomach cancer due to a bomb shrapnel wound suffered on operations. He was subsequently invited to do the Drum Major’s job in Mac’s local pipe band.

Winters then started to produce medals on his dress band uniform: initially a Gulf Medal and a NATO medal and then others started to appear for Kosovo and Cyprus. He was challenged about these additions and promptly did a runner from the band only to show up as Drum Major in another band in Stirling - wearing full dress Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders uniform - and with yet more Ebay medals added.

The Gathering Storm

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Snowy then appeared in Mac’s local paper highlighting his charity. Pictured wearing an Argyll’s glengarry, Snowy was also claiming he was ex-SAS and how proud he was of people supporting his charity. There was a noticable lack of outrage on the thread as most of the Waltenkommando were on block leave and prepping themselves prior to the following month’s inevitable walt tsunami. And it all went quiet. Fast-forward to that most hallowed of months a year later and a bright blip registers on the radar screen. It appears that someone had been busy – and gaining the lofty honour of Clackmannanshire Citizen of the Year in the process.

Mac had been sent a newspaper cutting by a friend who was aware of Mac’s interest. There, proudly saluting in all his drummy finery at a Remembrance Day parade in the town of Alloa was Winters - even more bemedalled than before and eschewing the normal highland feather bonnet in favour of that most cursed of headwear: the SAS beret. The Waltenkommando QRF was placed on immediate standby.

Winters had apparently been seen in a variety of different dress uniforms ranging from the Argyll & Sutherland Highlanders to The Rifles and Royal Marines and it was clear something had to be done. The Waltenkommando were by now sprinting towards the waiting chopper and a new dedicated thread appeared specifically for the target. SOPs kicked in and the web was trawled.

Them

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ARRSE being what it is, it came as something of a surprise to learn that some of its denizens actually recognised Winters – an ARRSE first. It transpired he’d actually been in the Army Air Corps for eight years (1992-2000) with 661 Squadron at Gutersloh, though as a ‘bowser mong’ rather than as a (claimed) Door Gunner. His Special Forces claims also carried a little bit of water too, as he’d gone on from 1 Regiment to 8 Flight at Hereford with ‘them’ as a crewman. However, there’s a world of difference between that and being badged with the regiment – which he wasn’t. Winters was not in the army at the time of the Gulf War and saw no operational service in the Former Yugoslavia. He’d also served briefly in E Company, 51st Highland Volunteers (a TA regiment) before spending time in the ATC as an AI.

Unfortunately, Winters is suffering from primary and aggressive (Terminal, Stage 2) cancers, though he appears quite fit, healthy and active. It should be stressed that not for one minute is the suggestion being made that it’s all a sympathy-garnering pile of bollocks. I mean, nobody would lie about something like that, would they? That said, ARRSEr ‘RofiB’ stated:Well, he's talking bollocks about a Stage 2 cancer being terminal. Cancer staging has fuck all to do with your prognosis, it's to do with how far the thing has spread or not as the case maybe. He's saying Stage 2 is terminal. If it is, then I must be typing from the fucking afterlife as I was classified as Stage 3 when I had it.

Much vitriol ensued on the thread until calls for Graham’s head on a plate resulted in it being closed (so another one popped up) and the Alloa & Hillfoots Advertiser were on the case. The Waltenkommando handed their abseil rig back in to the Q and were stood down, and pipe bands up and down the land distanced themselves from our hero with haste.

Fallout

So what’s to make out of all this? Firstly, anyone walting in such a high-profile way will show up on the ARRSE radar and will be nailed in some shape or form. Secondly, bullshitting and raising money do not mix. One lie cancels out reality, so even though Winters served for several creditable years in the British Army, that fact gets drowned out by the utter pap spouted on Facebook and elsewhere. Though having served in a specialised unit and having had a taste of another world that many can only dream of, Winters still felt it necessary to ruin an already interesting career with fantasy.

Unfortunately Ebayer ‘drummysnowy1’ seems to by feverishly buying up SF tat and chod certificates like there’s no tomorrow, so one could reasonably assume that he has not learned his lesson. He will return in another guise, of that you can be sure.

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