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Grog

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Grog; Alcoholic beverage, Giggle Juice, Dutch Courage, Milk of Amnesia, The Water of Life. These are just a few of the descriptions of God's greatest gift to humanity. As the French philosopher Rene Descartes said;

"I drink therefore I am". (see Bruce's Philosophers song for more details)

The beneficial effects of alcohol are well documented but various health and safety wombats and religious types would have us shun the evil fermentations and distillations of the grape and the grain. As the puritan Lady Whiteadder in the popular TV series Blackadder once remarked;

"Drink is urine from the last leper in Hell".

The man voted the Greatest Briton ever went by the name of Winston Churchill and as a matter of course drank several large stiff brandys for breakfast. This was a prelude to a day of steady alcoholic consumption and several cigars that usually ended at about 2 a.m. with a large whiskey. Hitler, on the other hand, was a teetotal vegetarian non-smoker who committed suicide after making a total balls-up concerning WW2. Also, the Taliban and other friends of Osama Bin Laden are known to avoid contact with the devil's brew.

As a testament to the efficacious effects of grog, since teatime I have consumed 2 pints of Stella Artois, 6 pints of Scrumpy Jack, half a bottle of brandy and 3 large Ardbeg single malt whiskys and feel none the worse. In fact I could go on writing for several more pages but I'm due on guard duty in half an hour. Ahh well. At least I have a hip flask full of vodka.

As Benjamin Franklin said;

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"

I believe that Mohammed has a different viewpoint on the matter.