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Grumble

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Whilst almost all Squaddies - being sophisticated and intelligent young people - are enthusiasts for the visual arts, it is the cinema which they hold in the highest esteem and, in particular, the genre generally referred to as 'grumble', (from the slang grumble and grunt) Grot or Training Videos.

Perhaps the greatest step forward in modern Squaddie comfort has been the invention of the DVD which allows many hundreds of hours of energetic gymnastic displays by young Czech, Hungarian and Ukrainian girls (as well as the expenditure of gallon after gallon of Grumble Mayo) to be moved around in a container no larger, nor more obvious, than a humble '58 pattern ammo pouch.

Even better: those unlucky enough to be put on the Death Stag in brigade and divisional HQs are now surrounded by modern technology - much of which is capable of giving life to these whole-hearted, honest performances.

Grumble films are all set in a strange world called Pornutopia. See also Rodox - the retro way of relieving the monotony.