The British Military Open Encyclopedia - ARRSE-Pedia. Back to British Army Rumour Service Home

Gurkha

From ARRSEpedia
Jump to: navigation, search


Inscrutable little sods...

Opinions vary, but any opinion about Johnny Gurkha that says they are anything but great goes counter to my experience of them. Smiling (usually), misleadingly diminutive hillmen for the Kingdom of Nepal, the Gurkha's history is legendary - as is their prowess at whoring and drinking.

Unlike the British squaddie after nine pints of Stella, Johnny Gurkha remains approachable and likeable and shows no sign of the usual wear & tear associated with going on the lash - a skill no doubt learnt from wizened old monks high above the snowline of the Himalayas. Do not engage in the following:

  • A fight - you will lose. You may possibly end up in the cooked meat section in Sainsbury's at 45p/lb.
  • A drinking competition - see above without the Sainsbury's

Do make sure you're on their side and take every opportunity to sample their cuisine, and if your feeling like a brave little Jamie Oliver try your hand at some of the following Recipes from the Brigade of Gurkhas:

If you really want to see how utterly awesome they are then simply stick yourself on any jungle based exercise with them and watch what happens. A navex in the jungle is no easy thing without a GPS, and whilst we were trailing on zero checkpoints out of seven forty minutes in to a three hour session these little blighters appeared out of nowhere, asked how we were doing, said they'd found all seven fifteen minutes ago and were now looking for something to kill for dinner.

Amazing.

Some useful Gurkhali phrases.

For a history of their service for the Crown in the British Army, visit this link: Gurkhas History at army.mod