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Heat

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Required reading for the educationally subnormal in Labours Britain

A magazine of dubious quality that delights in all things celebrity.

Articles in a typical month will cover such diverse subjects as

  • Tying fly fishing flies the Geri Halliwell way
  • Ashely Cole's top 10 discrete locations for an out of wedlock bunkup
  • Can Victoria Beckham really fit through the slats in a cattle grid
  • Celebrity Big Brother: Serious scientific study into group dynamics or simple voyeurism?
  • Keri Katona's breasts ... saggy or what?
  • Jordan: Businesswoman and domestic goddess OR plastic slapper?

Quite frankly the biggest waste of a tree since Tony Blair wasn't hung from the one in Trafalgar Square in 1997.

Not to be confused with HEAT, although I imagine we could think up a joke about somebodies sexuality, intellect or size of ones muscles if a Heat magazine was to be used in action (probably by 3 Para Mortar Platoon).

Also not to be confused with the excellent heist movie "Heat" starring Pacino & DeNiro. For which Andy McNab was apparently a technical advisor.