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Henry VIII

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Did you spill the head of my wife?


Henry VIII (28 June 1491 – 28 January 1547). King of England and Lord of Ireland, later King of Ireland and claimed large chunks of France.

He was a bit nails in his youth; he was a jouster, hunter and player or Real Tennis as well as liking a flutter on the cards or the dice.

He was also a rampant shagger, but a liking for pies and a jousting injury caused his waist measurement to blow up to 54 inches. He then had to be moved about with the help of a Medieval go-cart.

Henry invented divorce by way of creating the Church of England, but not before exploring more inventive ways of binning the 'ball and chain'. He also enjoyed sacking Catholic monasteries in his spare time, so he wasn't all bad.