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Hippocrocagrillapigs

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The creatures so amply enveloped in a designer creation, that only double-figure pint consumption can render beautiful that the average squaddie will 'score' with on an average night out. It is worth noting that the less-attractive, but (obviously) still Adonis-like squaddie may well 'score' with a slightly more-attractive Hippocrocagrillapig than his more-attractive friend as a result of the practice known as Go Ugly Early. By following this rule, the less-attractive squaddie sets his sights below "unattainable" but still reasonably shaggable, and works all evening to this end. The more-attractive squaddie sets his sights on what WOULD be attainable, if only he didn't get so pissed he swamped, vommed, followed-through or grandslammed thus the object of his desire looks upon him with disdain, whilst the true Hippocrocagrillapigs see his loss of control of his bodily functions as foreplay.

Large concentrations of Hippocrocagrillapigs can be found in any garrison town but especially in local Stickies where it is possible to find mother / daughter & even grandmother / mother / daughter combos if the squaddie so chooses.

Condoms recommended ... Hell, squeezing your dick into a thick leather rigger glove inside an industrial strength, acid resistant rubber gauntlet might be a better and more resilient protective device!

Sometimes known as Pig in Knickers or Moose, they are also the Tug part of the Cruiser and Tug.

Regional variations exist, namely Hippocrocafrogaphant, Hippocrocohorrorpig or Pigacrocagrillamus.