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Italy

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Italy.....where to begin?

To Some:

  • A beautiful, Mediterranean country reknowned for its culture, history, and gastronomy. Italy gave us the Romans, da Vinci, Gucci, Valentino, opera, pasta, spaghetti Bolognese, Garlic bread, wine, ciabatta bread, Vespa scooters, Luciano Pavarotti etc. etc.

To others:

  • An overrated tourist trap full of hairy-upper-lipped women who, let's face it, are well known to 'not age well'; scooter riding poofs, mafioso, and corrupt fascist sympaphising politicians. A military more historically signifcant for surrendering after about five minutes of fighting than actually conquering anything (oh wait, they captured Ethiopia, bet that was hard ... although the entire 'known' world did shiver beneath their togas, daring not to look up for six hundred years).

Not as bad as the French, but close.

Spent a day there once, in Trieste, and was so sick of poncy Italians that I went back to Bosnia.

Member of NATO

First country to use Camouflage and Combat Swimmers.

One of the main ancestors of Argentinians.

History

Former member of the Axis, until they realised just how badly they were getting beaten, they promptly strung up the fat, bald bloke who led them into that mess in the first place, and joined in on the winning side - leaving the task of defending their country to Hans and Ze Germans... who were undoubtedly chuffed at their choice of war buddies.

Before the war, the German attache told Winston Churchill that "in the event of war, Italy will be on our side". To which he replied "Seems only fair, we had them last time".