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Jan Hamilton

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Jan Hamilton

A former Captain in the Parachute Regiment, Jan Hamilton (born Ian) is the first officer (and first ex-para for that matter) in the British Army to undergo the full bottom end mutate from Bloke to Bitch.

After graduating from Sandhurst Aberdeen-born Hamilton joined the Royal Irish Rangers in 1983 and served in Northern Ireland before leaving the army to become a TV (television, not transvestite) cameraman in 1987 – covering the Gulf War and Bosnia.

He then worked for Scottish Television and Edinburgh Live TV in the 1990s, before resigning to rejoin the Army in 1999 - enlisting in the Parachute Regiment. Hamilton subsequently served in Afghanistan and Iraq.

After informing the Army of her sex change operation [Like yer do], Hamilton - now a 'she' - was dismissed from 'her' post for her condition of 'woman waltisim' and, despite repeated requests, refused to meet with 'her' or comment on the future of her career - a senior officer telling her, 'You've gone from hero to zero in one day!' Hamilton was prevented from appearing at the Parachute Regiment annual officer's dinner - despite her looking the Dog's Bollocks in Mess Dress. Jan's problem would have been accepted and sorted out no problemo well before if he/she was serving in South Africa's Apartheid Army.

Not only had the regiment forsaken 'Jan', her family sent her belongings to her with a note saying, 'Our son is dead – never contact us again.' Which was nice.

Jan's lawyers repeatedly sought to meet with the MoD to settle the issue out of court, but they (the Ministry) told them to hoop it. Due to this, Hamilton pursued legal action for being unfairly treated and dismissed.

The aftermath of all this was the defence budget suffering a £250,000 hit for 'hurt feelings' as a result of Jan 'being ordered to wear a man's uniform to a medical examination'. To put this PC pile of shite in to perspective, soldiers receive £57,000 for the loss of a leg and £285,000 for the loss of both arms or legs.

Jan has become something of a media personality in the UK, with magazine front covers, extensive press coverage and TV appearances on several national magazine programmes - which is hardly surprising when you can look like this after the judicious application of a spot of lippy and a scalpel:

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Go on. Tell me you wouldn't?

Contrary to what the media have stated, Jan has received much credit for her actions - a not insignificant amount coming from service personnel. After all, it does take some considerable bollocks to have one's spuds whipped off in a Thai hospital; and even more so when one's peers are from a regiment not known for its estrogen output.

A critique of the Channel 4 program in which Ian/Jan starred was held in the NAAFI after the program. Your very own ARRSE also featured in the role of ignorant, bigoted abuser of trannie paras. Good drills chaps! Read the opinions here.

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Notice Board

Although Jan the Man has served in the British Army, There is a slight chance this entry may be moved to the 'Walts' section as He/She/It/Mutant has lived a lie trying hard to hide her true identity by doing the most macho things you could ever think to prove that He/She/It/Mutant is a 'Real Man'.

Reports also claim Jan Hamilton served with THEM and there are rumours(possible but not proven) on the Wikipedia that He/She/It/Mutant went missing around December 1982 to Spring 1983 and attempted to join the French Foreign Legion but had 'second thoughts' while at the training camp in South West France. Confirmation needed.

Jan the Man has also become a confidence booster for Walts and Mongs wanting to become SAS candidates and other Elite Forces members, hence the quote "If Jan the Man can do it, You can!".

  • Homepage for the Warrior, Presenter, home builder and Bloke with his spuds cut orf!
  • Channel 4 attempt to appeal to the sexually confused.