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Jeffrey Archer

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Slimey Lying Cnut

Weasel-type Tory grandee with delusions of brilliance. Once was slammed up in the chokey for getting caught with his hands in the till. At one time the definitive teflon tory although even the tories refused to have him. He has a very fit MILF-like missus, Mary Archer.

Due to Archer having Monica Coghlan handed a brown envelope containing £2,000 at Victoria station in 1987 ostensibly to vanish while he won his libel action, £2,000 is known as an 'Archer'.

Much loved by the Private Eye ... especially as they got the last laugh over the corrupt arrogant git.

Grauniad Dossier here