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Labrador

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Man killer and slipper retrieval system


Labrador, Black, Flatulent. Nato Serial Number 6548-12-564-6599

Scale of issue: Officers of the rank of Lt Col and above, mandatory for Cavalry, optional (but recommended) for other Regiments and Corps.

Usually to be found causing embarrassment to young 'subbies' in the mess by means of copping off with their legs, going through the bins outside the cookhouse or curling up in its basket in the CO's office - doing exactly the opposite to a glade plug-in.

Also on issue at the officer's demobilisation centre (the secret military establishment where 'Ruperts' become Retired Officers) where it is issued along with: Blazer, Elbow Patches Leather; Smell, Strange; and War Stories, Old, Shite.

Best name for a Labrador is 'Nigger'. If it was good enough for Guy Gibson's (VC DSO* DFC*) dog... it should be good enough for you.

Least warry dog you can own short of a poodle.

See also Furry Crocodile.

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