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Liberal Democrats

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Successors to a proud history in British politics, the once-mighty Whigs are now an amalgam of the Liberal Party and the Social Democrats after the two Davids decided neither party would win a General Election. Sadly, they failed to realise that merging the two parties would still not lead to an election win, despite the "prepare for government" speech given by the little one.

The LibDems are rare among modern political parties for having been led by a chap who had actually worn the Queen's uniform, Paddy Ashdown, ex-SBS. They then chose Chas Kennedy, a nice bloke and typical Scot in that he was both GWARish and an alcoholic.

They eventually picked a man who was nearly as old as God, then replaced him with someone no-one has ever heard of - a shame really, as the Liberals are the least cynical of the three major parties.

Currently assisting CMD by providing him with 57 MPs to form a working majority. CMD proved very magnanimous with his provision of Cabinet seats for LibDems - 5 so far and moreover he resisted the temptation to make one of them "Minister for Culture, Olympics, Media, Sport & Something We Found Down The Side Of The Sofa That We Can't Identify".

The coalition was heartily approved of by the LibDems National Executive - not entirely unsurprising as this is their one and only hope of getting any policies enacted.

And so, we move into the bright green uplands of our future, heads held high, united and happy, singing songs of truth, joy and freedom, all pulling together on this fucking enormous anchor chain of debt forged by the last government.