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Margaret Beckett

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Don’t be scared!

Former Secretary of State for Foreign & Commonwealth Affairs. Beckett was yet another acolyte of the Celestial Navigator who couldn't do wrong.

Her best faux pas was the admission that the '45 minute claim' (that led to the Iraq invasion) was a total load of bollocks, that nobody took seriously anyway. Quite possibly so: it was total bollocks, but there were quite a few people hoodwinked in to believing it nonetheless, and as such, this statement was rather damaging. Unfortunately, this howler went largely unnoticed, probably due to the general fatigue that everyone's suffering due to nearly a decade of putting up with the lying bullshit that streams from Downing St.

Possibly the poorest Foreign Secretary this country has ever had... at least since Pitt the Younger appointed his hamster. This was proved beyond a shadow of a doubt by her total lack of presence and leadership during the Iranians taking Brits hostage situation.

Beckett is infamous for two things: her love of caravanning (which speaks volumes), and her prowess as the keyboard-playing monster in the Finnish rock outfit Lordi - a role for which she eschews make up and a prosthetic chicken neck.

Once Cyclops had taken centre stage, Margaret found herself out on her arrse and she scuttled off to the back benches. She has since re-appeared in some obscure government department or other that didn't exist last week and probably won't in the next, after yet another re-shuffle and associated re-branding exercise.

More here: Margaret Beckett

And here: Lordi