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Marriage

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"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." (Oscar Wilde, confirmed bachelor)

Legal contract between two people, usually consisting of one male and one female, and generally following some time after pregnancy. The usual terms of the contract are that a man signs away the rights to his house, kids, dog, car, playstation, porn stash, CD collection and beer fund; and a woman sees the beginning of sleepless nights and the end of her career. It's not all bad news, though, the husband is no longer expected to maintain an un-sloblike physique and his wife is no longer expected to sleep with him.

On the whole, marriage is an outdated institution. It is far simpler to give away all one's possessions to a complete stranger and burn all one's money rather than embroil oneself a protracted social arrangement, as the end result is identical - an outcast penniless wretch, living in a shop doorway, drinking Windolene through a pair of dirty tights.

"I do know some good marriages. Mostly second marriages. Marriages where both people have outgrown the bullshit of me-Tarzan, you-Jane, and are just trying to get through the days by helping each other, being good to each other, doing the chores as they come up and not worrying too much about who does what. Some men reach that delightfully relaxed state of affairs after forty, or a couple of divorces." (Erica Jong)