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Mars Bars

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Staple diet for the diet conscious squaddie. Can still be found in some ancient Rat Packs, but will have turned a nice Whitish colour. A unit of cadets/Officer Cadets can survive an entire exercise on a packet of Mars Bars.

Strange Northern types like to deep fry them. See: Deep Fried Mars Bars also known a Full Scottish Breakfast.

Additional uses: Door stops, window putty and Dildo (though this is considered messy and not to be used as such after having been Deep Fried, unless you truely are a monster!(Though I once knew a slop jockey that was into such things - shivers with the mental picture!))

Rumour has it that the Rolling Stones song "Brown Sugar" may have been about just such a practice, although presumably not Deep Fried Mars Bars. Unless that's where you get fanny batter from?