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Mess Webley

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300px-Webley-Mk-IV-p1030100.jpg
The Mess Webley

The metaphorical pistol handed to an Officer with which he can save himself the ignominy of having to resign his commission and leave the Mess with honour by doing the decent thing.

Traditionally stored in the third drawer down in the anteroom desk. See following for instructions of usage and general Mess etiquette:

Of course if you have been a total rotter and cad...

It's worth remembering that the Mess Webley will be of .455 calibre so do remember that if the Mess has recently been re-carpeted or painted, you might consider putting down some newspaper before doing the decent thing, otherwise you will leave your former fellow Mess members with the deuce of a bill which will probably dampen enthusiasm at your wake - alternatively take a bottle of whisky with you into the woods...