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Garelochhead

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Home to the most evil and destructive creatures on the planet, the West Coast midge. Don't confuse these with midges in other training areas, they are but feeble imitations. The West Coast midge can strip cattle to the bone in seconds, and reduce grown men to tears in minutes. 100% DEET doesn't work, they think it's an appetiser. The only answers are

  1. Midge net and gloves, keep them on until endex.
  2. Buy the moisturising product 'Skin so Soft' from the Avon catalogue (Honest...it works!) - the Power of ARRSE - check this out Skin So Soft Bug Guard Hint from a tight-fisted jock: the girly version branded as skin cream (or poof juice if you will) works just as well and is half the price.
  3. Don't go there. Do a character building course as a much easier option.

Oh, and the training area has all of the most attractive aspects of the West Coast of Scotland. Stunning natural scenery (which you can't see through the rain) varied flora (invariably wet, pointy, and capable of punching straight through Body Armour, let alone CS95 trousers) and fauna (which will either eat you, or play hard to get). I suspect the reason that the reason for siting Faslane was to invite a Soviet Counterforce strike in order to save us the trouble of redeveloping the nearest town to Garelochhead, which is Helensburgh.

Genuinely interesting place, if you're a nuclear submarine spotter.

One of the few extensive training areas left to the TA following the demise of Cultybraggan although every bit as infested with ACF types as it is with midges - as Culty was!

See Garelochhead the Game in ARRSE

Also see references to skin care products in the same thread - we're not gay though!

Rumour has it that Troops will soon be banned from Garelochhead altogether when it is re-designated by the European Parliament as a Protected Site due to the herds of free-range Haggis reported to be roaming wild on the Training Area.