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Ministry of Justice

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Oh dude - are you in shit now...

Created in a fit of pique over their (quite frankly) fucking abysmal record of tackling crime and its causes, the government decided in 2007 to dream up the rather apocalyptic-sounding Ministry of Justice. Well, it is 2007AD after all, so why not make up a department with a title only George Orwell or a Labour government could have dreamt up?

Like initiatives and re-branding exercises, the creation of a new ministry does not necessarily solve the problem of sorting out the mess of social decline. In a twisted, paradoxical way it can even exacerbate the problem. Let's face it, Labour's War on Crime is a fucking joke, as crime has soared off the scale during Labour's tenure and its previous attempts to 'get tough' hardly engender confidence; so it's pretty certain that this new ├╝berministerium will achieve the square root of fuck all apart from issuing endless mission statements and made up statistics.

What most certainly will not happen is some bad ass Judge/Jury/Executioner on a hover bike blasting chavs with a laser cannon. Not only would such actions befit the ministry's title, it might actually go some way to redressing the balance against the bad guys. Dream on.