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Minxy

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Minxy is a very unusual bogtrotter. For a start she doesn't sound like one and secondly she doesn't have the insatiable urge to fit the word "situation" into every sentence!

She maintains she is single but, if she is, then she's the most "attached" single person know to mankind. Duty rumour says there is an "other half" but she only refers to "that Journo". So it's very likely she is delusional and hoping to get her breasticles out on page three of one of the nationals, thus scaring the UK population for eternity. (If you pin a picture of her in your window guaranteed you wont get any trick or treaters or carol singers but Royal Mail might sue you for giving their postmen PTSD!!) However, anyone who knows her will realise she is almost certainly hoping for page 3 of Gimp Weekly!!

She carries a ball gag in her handbag, just like blokes would carry condoms in their wallet, her reasoning being "cause you never know when it might be needed!" She would like her own pet gimp but has found the smell of latex or leather mixed with the smell of fear makes her dry heave. She hates vanilla anything but admits violet can be a verrrrrrrry good alternative colour and gets (well gives) a bit of a buzz out of it.

She believes nice is only a concept, and then regularly threatens to be fluffy for extended periods of time and failing miserably!!!!!! This however, doesn't get her down as she just resorts to her usual banter, which isn't nasty because she actually means everything she says. People may indeed choke and balk at her trying to be nice but what they don't realize is in her eyes it stands for Nasty Incorrigible Callously Evil - well silly fools shouldn't believe a word out of her mouth. She bites rarely, which is unusual for bogtrotters as they are nippy wee buggers, but if she does she "bites hard" and I have seen the evidence - note I said seen and not worn!

Her communication skills are exceptional as she regularly threatens to fist people, affectionate little lamb that she is. Many have wondered if this is a show of affection although the kitty litter and razor wire is rather worrying!! She has very high ideals and believes snowballing is not just for winter it's for life!! Even though she has been heard to mutter "some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints!" she frequently makes people spit and snort without beating the crap out of them for fun or sexual pleasure. No wonder she's gutted about this I always though part of the fun from a gimp mask was the spitting and snorting!!

She spends weeks blind drunk and insists on breaking 'toys' with alarming regularity. Yet without fail she can be found in at dark o'clock, (she says only on a weekend but we all know it's every bloody night) clutching a Stella with one eye closed then falling into ARRSE chat and announcing "Im waaaaaaaaaaankered! Let the biatching commence...."

Is a touch on the tubby and ugly side

Her favourite phrases are:

"You, YOU...fcukrat...please die in your sleep"

"poking at my eyes with hot pins, DON THE GOGGLES"

I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaankered

Housework is not her thing although she would hoover if she could grasp the concept of electricity and push pull! However, she does know what "push back" means and because of this insists she is gay!


Formerly known as Mereminx

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